If Our Love's Insanity
by xXxThe Phantom's RosexXx
Summary: Casey thought she had her college plans all figured out - study hard, no parties, new friends, and no boys. But after one night, all of that changes. What happens when Derek is there for her when no one else will be? Will they be able to face their feelings for each other, or continue to mask those feelings with fights and harsh words?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: An anon on Tumblr asked me how I wanted Casey and Derek to get together (if they do get together) in the new Life With Derek episodes/show. By the time I had written the reply, I had an excellent idea brewing and this is that idea. Don't worry, I'll still be updating Beauty and the Devil and Twinkle Toes as well. Hope you enjoy this one. Also, I do not own Life With Derek, or the song Clarity by Zedd.**

**Clarity  
Chapter** **One**  
_Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need  
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why  
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my_ clarity?

Casey crossed her arms over her chest and glared out the window as the rain fell in sheets around The Prince. She knew this was going to happen. How could her parents possibly expect a road trip with Derek would happen without any snags. Of course he would forget to get gas. Casey shook her head and pulled her sweatshirt tighter around her shoulders. It was freezing. And she was not happy. Currently, she was sitting in the parking lot of a motel with the ever-lovely name of "Eco-Stay: The Perfect Motel For the Budget-Friendly." She cringed at the name. Of course their car would be about to run out of gas when the only lodging was an Eco-Stay. She shook her head again, trying to calm her nerves. _I can't attend university if I go to jail for strangling my stepbrother, _she reasoned. After realizing the car was quickly running low on gas, Derek had pulled off at the only sign of life for miles. The Eco-Stay. It was eight o'clock at night. Casey was cold, hungry, tired, and miserable - and stuck in the car while Derek went inside to try to "haggle" the price of a room. This was definitely not how she had envisioned going to college. But apparently George and her mother both thought that having Casey and Derek road-trip to Queens together would be a good idea. A "bonding experience" they had said. Casey cringed at the words. The last person she wanted to bond with was Derek Venturi. _Speak of the devil..._

Derek ran over to The Prince with his jacket over his head, signaling for Casey to follow him back inside. Groaning, she grabbed her suitcase and braved the buckets of rain that were beginning to flood the pavement. She ran with Derek to the covering and he revealed a key attached to an ugly rusting plaque. "Room 312" was scrawled in fading paint on the plaque.

"Come on," Derek pointed up the stairs, "We're up there on the third level."

Casey followed him up the slick steps to the third level of the motel. Once Derek found the room, he fiddled with the key for a moment before swinging the door open. Casey cringed at what she saw. The room smelled instantly of cigarette smoke and sweat. She felt herself grow queasy as she noticed the stained, green polyester blanket on the single queen-sized bed. The pillows also had a few stains as well. She felt as though by just standing in the threshold that she would contract some sort of deadly disease.

"You have got to be kidding me," she snipped, glancing around the room and sincerely debating running back out to The Prince to sleep. But that would mean having to brave the rain again and there was no way she was going to let her newly high-lighted blonde hair be contaminated by more rain. Derek shrugged, took off his jacket, and tossed it on one of the chairs that was placed around a sticky, plastic table that looked like it was patio furniture.

"Sorry it's not the Ritz, Princess. Adapt. It's not so bad."

"Not so bad?" Casey choked out the words, "This place is foul. Of course we would have to run out of gas right here in the middle of nowhere and have to stay in the most god-forsaken motel ever known to man. I will probably get fleas just from sleeping on this thing," she gingerly picked up a corner of the blanket between her fingers.

"You already have fleas," Derek said, matter-of-factly, "I don't get what the big deal is. So we ran out of gas. The manager I spoke with said he would get a can of gas for us and bring it by in the morning. Isn't that nice?"

"Nice? Norman Bates was nice and we all know how that turned out," Casey glowered, "How could you forget to get gas in the car before a road-trip, Derek? Like really, who just forgets something like that? How you even got into university is beyond me!"

"Oh look, a mini-fridge."

"Oh look, it's probably a breeding ground for mold and other spores and diseases. But sure, go ahead. Open it up and expose me to even more deadly contagions."

"Stop being so..." Derek slammed the fridge door shut the second he opened it, "Never mind. I'll just uh...I'll go check out the bathroom."

"You do that," Casey folded her arms over her chest and stood in the middle of the room, scared to touch anything or even so much as get too close to something in case she contracted something.

"Yeah," Derek suddenly appeared, slamming the bathroom door behind him, "What are your thoughts on peeing in the pot plant?" He jerked his head towards a dusty plastic plant sitting in a dusty pot filled with dusty plastic moss. Casey felt even queasier.

"Do I even want to know what's wrong with the bathroom?" She asked nervously, already knowing the answer to her question.

"Oh, you can use the bathroom," Derek shrugged, "It's just that I am pretty sure the family of roaches living in there wouldn't be all too pleased with you barging in and using the toilet in front of them."

Casey closed her eyes and tried to remain calm, "Wonderful."

"Come on," Derek tried to sound positive, "It's not like this place is going to kil..."

"Do not," Casey held up her hand, "finish that sentence."

Derek slid his jaw to the side, knowing that it probably wasn't the best decision to get on her nerves at the moment. He made his way towards the bed and sighed, "So how are we doing this?"

"Um, you are taking a pillow and sleeping on the floor.'

"The floor? It probably has mites or something."

"You already have mites," Casey mimicked him from earlier. Derek sighed and grabbed a pillow off the bed. As he did so, a roach scurried out from underneath it. Casey screamed, "Okay, so maybe we will both sleep on the floor tonight."

Derek turned on the TV as Casey pulled out her robe from her suitcase and laid it out on the floor. She then sat down on it and hoped it might be somewhat of a barrier between her and whatever diseases the floor was harboring.

"Oh my god!" Casey shouted as she saw what was on the TV screen, "Derek, turn that off!"

"I can't. The remote is stuck."

"Try turning it off from the TV," Casey said, shielding her eyes.

"Ouch!" Derek jumped back, "It just shocked me!"

"Derek, turn it off!"

"I'm not touching that thing again. If you want it turned off so badly, you can go over there and deal with it. Fry your hand. See if I care."

"Fine," Casey pushed herself up off of her robe, "I am not just going to stay here and have the television be stuck on some porn channel," she marched over to Derek and demanded the remote. After hitting it against her palm a few times and failed attempts at pressing the OFF button, she tried the television. As soon as she pressed the POWER button, she was shocked also, "Damn it!" Casey clutched her hand.

"Wow, the princess can curse?" Derek raised an amused eyebrow. Casey glowered at him. Nothing about this situation amused her. She was stuck with Derek in a nasty hotel room with the porno channel on. She wished more than anything that this was just some horrible nightmare that she could wake up from.

"If I try that enough times, do you think I can get enough of a volt to euthanize me?"

Derek rolled his eyes, "You're being dramatic."

"I think I have a right to be. I am trapped here with you and...and...that!" She waved her hand towards the television screen; her eyes widened, "How do they even get into that position," she mused, titling her head to the side.

"Want me to show you?" Derek raised his eyebrow.

"Oh my god!" Casey shouted, "Derek, do not be vile."

"It was just a suggestion," Derek held up his hands in surrender.

"I'm going to sleep in the tub," Casey moved towards the bathroom.

"I am sure the roaches would love you," Derek grinned exaggeratedly.

"Ugh!" Casey huffed, "It's no use. Fine. I guess I am just stuck here," she plopped back down on her robe. Derek grabbed a t-shirt from his backpack and even laid it down on the floor before sitting down on top of it.

"You think I am exactly happy with this situation?" He asked, "Believe me, sitting in a hell-hole motel watching porn with you is not my idea of a fun road-trip. My idea of a fun road-trip would be me, Sam, and Ralph with a few beers and lots of junk food and loud music. That would be an awesome road-trip. Do you think I am exactly happy that our parents made us do this? Of course not. But here's my suggestion..."

"Uh-oh," Casey rolled her eyes.

"We deal with it. Complaining about it isn't going to change anything. So I say we just sit here and try not to get made into meals by the bugs in here and try to deal with this the best we can."

"Derek, I am cold, hungry, miserable, and one more horrible thing happening from strangling you right now. 'Dealing with it' is not a possibility."

"Well, I have half a Snickers in my backpack from three weeks ago. We could split that. Also, I have another sweat shirt in my bag if you want to borrow that. C'mon, Case. I'm trying here."

Casey softened just a bit. He really was, "Alright. Fine."

"That's the spirit," Derek nudged her as he stood to head over towards his backpack.

They split the Snickers and Casey bundled up in Derek's over-sized sweatshirt. She was expecting something stinky and unwashed. Instead, it was very comfortable and she noticed the slight scent of cologne. _Derek wears cologne? No way, I'd have totally noticed that before if he did. _Casey wrapped it around her tighter and adjusted herself on her robe. At this point, she had stopped being so disgusted with the porn and Derek had stopped being so interested in it. Now, they were both numb to whatever was going on on the screen in front of them.

"Up next," appeared on the screen, and below it, "Tatiana's Tenacious Titty Time!"

"Who thinks up these titles?" Casey asked, popping her last bite of the Snickers bar in her mouth.

"Who knows," Derek mumbled around a mouthful of Snickers, "You think they're real?" Derek asked.

"Oh no, definitely not."

"Eh, let's see," soon the screen changed to an image of a blonde sitting in a hot tub.

"They're the size of basketballs," Casey stared at the screen in disbelief.

"Some people are naturally big," Derek shrugged.

"Oh yeah?" Casey chuckled, "trust me. They aren't natural."

"Oh, and how would you know?" Derek asked.

"Because," Casey shrugged innocently, "they aren't naturally shaped that way."

Derek nearly choked on the Snickers in his mouth. Before he realized what he was doing, his eyes wandered to Casey's chest - which was concealed by the two heavy sweatshirts. As soon as he realized he was staring, his head popped back up to the television screen. He hoped Casey hadn't noticed. He didn't mean anything by it anyway. He was just curious. _Curious about Casey's..._Derek cringed and shook the thought from his head. He was not going to even let himself think that.

He tossed the Snicker's wrapped on the floor and balled the t-shirt he had been sitting on into a pillow. Casey did the same with her robe. She figured that at least wearing a few layers of clothes would help. Besides, she would rather have a pillow that was not from the roach bed. Derek yawned and laid down on his own makeshift bed. Maybe this night hadn't gone how they were expecting, but it could have been worse, right?

"Look," he said after a few moments of silence, "I'm sorry I forgot to get gas before we headed out on this road-trip. It was stupid. But if you promise not to murder me in my sleep tonight, after we get the gas from the motel manager, I'll take us out to breakfast someplace. Alright?"

Casey thought it over for a moment before agreeing, "I suppose I can hold off on murdering you in your sleep one more night."

Derek rolled his eyes and turned back over so that he was lying flat on his back. Casey did the same. Both were too afraid to turn off the lights to even bother. They laid there in silence for awhile, neither one of them able to sleep but neither of them knowing what to say. Finally it was Casey who broke the silence. After a few moments of lying there, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Do you miss them?" She couldn't help but ask. As they had driven away, she had been a wreck trying to hold in her tears. But Derek had seemed so calm and nonchalant about the whole thing. Even when he was saying goodbye to Marti he seemed fine.

"Missing people implies I have feelings, Case," Derek's lips upturned into a small smile that Casey figured he didn't know she noticed, "Yeah, I miss them. But we've known someday we'd move out. Besides, you've been looking forward to going to university for years. You started making lists of things for college applications three years ago. You bought your school supplies in May, Case. You want this."

"Of course I want it," Casey sighed, "I just...it's weird. For years I wanted out of our house. I thought going off to university would be an escape. But now, I really am going to miss everyone. Who will be there for Lizzie when she has her first breakup? That's something the big sister is supposed to handle, right?"

"She'll be fine. She's got Edwin and he's already keeping tabs on that Danny kid."

Casey rolled her eyes, "But Edwin isn't her older sister."

"Case, there's these inventions called cellphones and internet and webcams. You're just a click away from Lizzie. She'll be fine."

Casey sighed, figuring Derek was probably right. Lizzie and Edwin were very close and Lizzie knew if she ever had a problem, Edwin would be there. Still, Casey couldn't help but feel bad for not being there. She felt the pang hit in her chest just as it had as they had driven away waving at everyone, "I guess you do have a point," Casey admitted, "Lizzie will be fine. But...I'm not so sure I will be."


	2. Chapter 2

**Clarity  
Chapter** **Two**  
_Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need  
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why  
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

"What are you doing?" Derek eyed Casey. She was pouring over a notebook in her hands, her lips moving silently as she read over whatever she had written down.

"I'm reviewing my list," she answered matter-of-factly. They were sitting at a local diner. After having gotten The Prince filled up with the gasoline the motel manager had provided them, Derek had held up his promise and took himself and Casey out to breakfast. He was happily shoveling scrambled eggs and bacon into his mouth, but Casey had sat, her scrambled eggs and french toast going ignored, lips pressed, and read over her notebook without even looking up.

"What list?" Derek grumbled around a mouthful of food.

Casey grimaced, and Derek mumbled an apology for talking with his mouth full. "Well," she explained, "I decided to come up with this list before going off to university. It's a list of everything I plan to accomplish while away."

"Sounds lame," Derek took a drink of coffee, diluted with plenty of sugar and cream, "What's on that list anyway?"

"If it's so lame," Casey finally had a bite of egg, "what do you care?"

Derek rolled his eyes, "I don't. Just curious I guess."

"If you _must_ know: meet with professors during office hours, devote four hours a day to studying, devote one hour at the gym, call Emily every day on the cell, no boys, no parties, straight As, dean's list, find job at tutoring center..."

"Uh, Case?"

"Yeah, Derek?"

"When are you going to have time to uh...you know - _live_?"

Casey rolled her eyes, "Derek, this _is_ living. If I do well in undergrad, I can get into an excellent graduate school program and maybe I'll even graduate early and get a headstart on graduate school and careers. Wouldn't that be great? I don't have time for the typical college thing, Derek. Besides, college parties aren't really my thing. And boys? Please. Who has time for boy drama while at university!"

Derek raised his mug of coffee to her, "Apparently not you. Let me know how that whole hermit thing works out for you. Are you seriously planning on barricading yourself in your dorm and doing nothing but going to class, studying, and working out?"

"There's nothing wrong with that," Casey argued, "I am just very driven."

"You're just very _insane_," Derek corrected, "Case, that isn't normal."

"I'm sorry, I just want to do well in school, Derek. What are your plans, hmm? Keg parties every weekend, a different girl every night, barely get by with Cs in your classes, hockey..."

"Hey, I have goals, alright? I _do_ want my degree, Case. That's why I am going to school in the first place. Marketing major, remember? I just can balance. Who cares if your grades aren't always perfect? I'd rather get by with okay grades and not drive myself to the point of a mental breakdown...which is what you're going to do if you don't actually do something besides study!"

Casey shook her head and closed her notebook. She turned her attention back to finishing up her breakfast. What did Derek know about university anyway? Sure, he was a marketing major, but she wanted more than just a bachelors. She wanted to go on and get her doctorate one day and that wouldn't happen unless she buckled down and worked hard. Derek never even worked hard a day in his life. He obviously had no idea what he was talking about. She had her plan, and she was going to stick with it no matter what.

After finishing up their breakfast, they headed back out on the road. Throughout the rest of the drive, Casey kept reviewing her list. She knew she was on the right track. She wanted to finish early and get into grad school early. Then, she would be able to start her career early and everything would fall into place. Everything in her imperfect, messy life would finally be perfect and organized - if she just stuck with the list, which was the plan. Derek rolled his eyes as he glanced over at her. He wished she would just put down the notebook and forget her stupid list. It couldn't be healthy, right? College was supposed to be fun - parties, girls, beer. He could hardly wait. Casey was sucking the fun out of all of that with her stupid notebook with her stupid list.

"You'll drive yourself crazier than you already are," Derek warned her.

"You wouldn't understand," Casey shook her head, wishing she could get through to him and explain to him how important her plan was to her, "I have to stick to my plans, Derek. This list is my roadmap to success."

Derek grimaced, "_Roadmap to success?_"

"Yes. I have to stick with this list to ensure that everything goes according to plan. See - I will meet with my professors one-on-one during their office hours to show them how passionate and serious I am about doing well in their courses. Meeting with professors during office hours can be the difference between an A minus and an A plus."

Derek's eyebrows furrowed, "You _do_ realize that after we graduated, that Paul guy quit because he said he was too exhausted to do that job again right? That's because you met with him everyday. You drove the guy to his breaking point, Case. You really want to do that to your professors?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Casey rolled her eyes, refusing to acknowledge any more of what Derek had said, "My professors will be so refreshed to see a student who is so passionate and serious about their classes. They'll love me."

"Someone? Love you?" Derek choked out a laugh, "Really, Case. I had no idea you were so funny!"

"Shut up," Casey sourly folded her arms over her chest, "Besides, that's just a portion of the plan. I am going to study so hard that I will have my notes memorized. University is nothing like high school, Derek. The tests will be quite difficult and I want to ensure myself As on every assignment. The only way I can do that is to study very hard. But of course I will take time out to work out at the gym. I'm not completely depriving myself of me-time."

"Going to the gym is your idea of me-time?" Derek raised an apprehensive eyebrow, "I can just see it, Casey. You're going to burn yourself out in like a month. You're going to give yourself a mental breakdown because of how much stress you'll put on yourself and then do you know who you'll come crawling too when you're crying and freaking out and running around? _Me_."

"I would _not_ come to you."

"Oh yes you will," Derek smirked smugly, "because you'll alienate yourself from everyone else there. You won' t know anyone else but me. And so when you have your breakdown at two in the morning and can't sleep and are stressed to the point of tears, I am the lucky guy you will call. I don't care if you have a breakdown, Case, but I do care once I'm dragged into it. Call me at two in the morning because you're freaking out, and I _won't_ be happy."

"But you will answer?" Casey peeked up at him hopefully out of the corner of her eye. Maybe there was some truth in what he said. She was prone to breakdowns and moments of stress and panic attacks. It would be reassuring to know that there was someone there to bring her back to reality. Even if that person was Derek Venturi.

Derek pursed his lips for a moment before finally replying, "I _always_ answer my phone, Case," he quickly added, "Except when I'm with a girl. Then you'll just have to be patient."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: You guys are so wonderful! I hope you enjoy this story and are having fun reading. Again, y'all are awesome! Thank you so much for that! **

**Clarity  
Chapter** **Three**  
_Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need  
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why  
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

One month into school and Casey was starting to realize how right Derek might have been. Of course, she would never admit it to him, or to anyone else for that matter. However, she knew he had been right in thinking that she would push herself too much. It was only the first month of classes and already she was on the verge of a breakdown. Just as she had promised herself, she had met with her professors. Only two of the seven she had that semester seemed thankful that she had come by to see them on the first day. The others seemed a bit put off and she began to wonder if what Derek had said about Paul had been true. She had still not made any friends, and the fact that every class seemed to have their tests within the same week did nothing to ease her stress. On the very first day, they had been informed that there would be a test once a month in each class. Of course, all the tests were close together and Casey could feel herself drowning. She had already broken one of her promises and no longer had time to call Emily every day. Instead, they had resorted to emailing once a week. Casey was missing her best friend terribly and she hated not having anyone but Derek to rely on.

She knew better than to call him though. She knew he would be there for her if need be, but she also knew that his friendship would come at a price and she wasn't willing to cave to that level. Instead, she pushed herself harder. Casey needed to prove to herself that she could handle this without any help from anyone - especially Derek. It was difficult though, and with her tests being in a week, she felt as though she really was drowning. She couldn't breathe and had stopped eating regular meals save for a cheeseburger at the Caf when she did find the time. Most of the time though, she didn't. Coffee became her only form of nutrition, and textbooks and pages upon pages of notes her only company. It was two days before her first test of university - History - when she was interrupted from her studying by a knock at her dorm door. She pushed herself away from her books and made her way across the room to answer it. A headache washed over her, and she began to wonder when the last time she ate was.

When she opened the door, she was surprised to see Derek standing on the other side, dangling his keyes just above her head as he leaned his arm against the door.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, annoyed. She needed to study and here was Derek, keeping her from doing so. She'd never do well on her test with interruptions like this, and she hoped he'd just hurry up and leave.

"I saw you walking to class today," Derek tossed his keys in the air, caught them, and folded his arms over his chest, "and you had your nose in your book and practically ran into someone because you weren't watching where you were going. You also looked like you'd lost five pounds..."

"Really?" Casey's face lit up as she stared down at her body.

"Not really a good thing, Spacey," Derek eyed her carefully, "Look, I know this week is the first week of tests but I was wondering if I could pull you away from the books for two hours, tops, so we can go grab a bite to eat."

Casey glared at him suspiciously, "You're inviting me to go get something to eat with you?" Since coming to college, she and Derek's communication with each other had been extremely limited. He had already made several friends, including a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes whom he swore was just a friend, despite Casey having seen him kissing her on the lawn. He was adjusting perfectly well to university life. Casey, on the other hand, felt as though she was falling between the cracks. Maybe she was pushing herself too hard, but that's just what she'd have to do in order to stick her plan.

Derek rolled his eyes as if answering her pained him in some way, "Brain, you remember Brain," Casey nodded - she did, Brian was Derek's roommate and so far, closest friend besides Blondie on campus - and Derek continued, "he's out with Crystal. Apparently they're back on or something. Anyway, he bailed on our plans for the night and I figured you hadn't had a good meal in awhile. So what do you say? I hear there's a good pizza place about five minutes away."

The thought of pizza made Casey's mouth water. She knew she needed to eat something, and maybe it would be a good idea to step away from the books for a little bit, "I don't know, Derek," she glanced over at her bed which was completely covered in books and pages of notebook paper, "I really should be studying. My first test is tomorrow, and I have no idea if I am ready for it or not. I still need to go over my flash cards, and..."

"Case, flash cards can wait. Offer stands for ten more seconds. Your decision. Seven...six...five...four..."

Casey bit her lower lip before quickly answering, "Let me grab my sweater. Then we can go."

Derek grinned triumphantly as she yanked her sweater off the back of her computer chair and shrug it over her shoulders. He didn't want to admit it, but he had almost missed talking with her during the past month. It had been weird after having seen her everyday for the past several years to suddenly not see her much at all. He tried to tell himself that that was a good thing, being away from Spacey, but he did miss her. And he was curious to hear how her first month was going. But most importantly, he wasn't going to spend a night without having some sort of plans.

"So, Blondie was busy tonight?" Casey asked as she followed Derek out of her dorm and to the east parking lot where The Prince was register to park.

"Her name is Brynn," Derek smirked, wondering why he was almost happy that Casey was asking about her, "And she's allowed to be busy, Case. We're not an item or anything."

"And if you were an item she wouldn't be allowed to be busy?" Casey raised an eyebrow.

Derek grumbled, "You know what I mean, Case."

She did, she just wanted to get a response from him. They walked the rest of the way to the parking lot in silence. Casey was both happy and confused by Derek's dinner invitation. She had to admit though, it would be nice to get out of her dorm and do something with someone even if that person was Derek Venturi of all people. Once they got to The Prince, Casey slid into the passenger seat. Derek turned on the radio as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"So, how's it going?" He asked awkwardly. Casey couldn't help but smile. She could tell he was being serious and they both weren't used to this sudden separation between them. When they were living under the same roof, they knew everything that was going on with each other. Suddenly not knowing was weird to both of them.

"Just trying to do well in my classes," Casey admitted, wishing she had something more interesting to relay, "I like my classes."

"What are you taking again?" Derek asked.

"History, English, Calculus, Biology, Sociology, Psychology, and Art History. What about you?"

"English, Biology, History, and Algebra. How are your professors?"

"They're alright. I met with them on the first day, like I said I would. Some of them were really happy I did and even gave me some pointers as far as what to expect on their tests and how to study. But some of them did seem annoyed that I had come to them on the first day."

"Told you so," Derek smirked, relaxing and tightening his hands on the steering wheel, "Always a grade grub, huh?

"I have a reputation to live up to," Casey shrugged, smiling, "Tell me about your classes. You like your professors?"

"Yeah. My Bio professor is really awesome. I like his class a lot. He's really easy too - as long as you show up to class, you're pretty much set to do well. I think that's my favorite class. Never thought Biology would be my favorite class. I guess it depends on how it's taught, huh?"

Casey agreed, "Sometimes teachers will make or break a subject. My Art History professor is really awful. I mean, she knows her stuff but she's very...dry. It's art, she should be a bit more passionate, right? Nope. She even made Robert Mapplethorpe boring. How do you make Robert Mapplethorpe boring?"

"No idea," Derek pulled into the parking lot of the pizza place, "Here it is. This place has a reputation around campus for being great food regardless of if you have a hangover or not. I figured we'd give it a shot. Besides, a large pizza is five bucks. You can't beat that!"

Casey followed him inside, surprised that she was actually enjoying herself for the first times since moving away. It was nice having someone to talk with and laugh with...to connect with. She tried to remind herself that this was Derek of all people. But for some reason, that didn't matter. It was hard to believe that the guy who was currently holding the door to the restaurant open for her was the same guy who had put Elmer's in her shampoo just a few months ago.

The restaurant itself was small, but smelled deliciously of pepperoni and argeno. The tables consisted of vinyl booths and plastic, red and white checkered table cloths. A waitress led them over to a booth in the back by a window and handed them two sticky, plastic menus. Casey thanked her and poured over her menu. The thought of food was making her realize just how hungry she was.

"Want to share a large pepperoni pizza and an order of hot wings?" Derek offered.

"Sure," Casey agreed, certain that with how hungry she currently was, even the menu would taste delicious to her. After placing their order, she and Derek picked up their conversation again. She asked him about hockey and about Biran, his roomate.

"Still can't believe the guy bailed on me," Derek grumbled, munching on a breadstick, "He swore he never wanted to see Crystal again just the other day. Then tonight, they throw me out so they can have some privacy."

"Oh, so that's why you invited me to come hang out," Casey sipped her Coke, "You had nowhere else to go!"

"You think I'd hang out with you by my own choice?" Derek asked, although they both knew the answer. The fact that they were both having a fairly decent time together was answer enough. The pizza and wings came out quickly and they dug in. Casey actually let out a moan as she took her first bite of pizza.

"When was the last time you ate anyway?" Derek asked curiously as she dumped some chili flakes onto his slice.

"I...I don't remember," Casey admitted, embarrassed, "I know that's not good. I just was so busy with studying that I didn't think..."

"You need to eat, Case."

"I know, spare me the lecture," she rolled her eyes, "Besides, I'm eating now."

"Only because I inivted you out. If you were still in your dorm, would you have eaten anything?"

"I'd have had some coffee and cereal eventually," Casey stared down at her plate. She knew it was bad that she was putting her studying ahead of her health. Maybe she was putting too much pressure on herself.

"Case, have you gotten out at all since we moved?" Derek asked.

Casey couldn't meet his eyes. She had no idea how she was supposed to answer that. Derek went out all the time. He'd never understand if she told him the truth. He'd think she was even more of a pathetic nerd than he already did. Her stomach churned, and she took another sip of Coke to try to ease her stomach.

"No, not really," she winced, bracing for the impact of some insult or string of harsh words.

"Seriously?" Derek raised an eyebrow as Casey finally forced herself to look him in the eye, "Case, that's not good. You can't just hide away in your dorm and study constantly. You need to get out and have some fun."

She took a deep breath, working up her courage before finally admitting, "I don't really have anyone to get out and have fun with, Derek. I've met some people in my classes, but no one that I feel like I could hang out with. I haven't even had time to talk to Emily much except for once a week."

"Wow," Derek's eyes widened, "Okay, we're fixing that."

"Derek..."

"Nope. No objections. After the tests this week, you are coming to Michael Edmund's party on Friday. Okay?"

"Derek, I couldn't..."

"Sure you can. He's having a party at his apartment. Biran and I - and I guess now Crystal too - are going and so are some other people. It'll be fun. Look, I'll even introduce you to some people if you want," Derek winced, "but you have to promise to be cool. Don't embarrass me, Spacey."

"Derek, I don't know what to say," Casey felt overwhelmed and a bit anxious. She hadn't been to a party since the incident with Truman, and she wouldn't know anyone besides Derek. She was apprehensive, "What if I don't have a good time?"

"You'll have a great time," Derek assured her, "Michael's parties are legendary. Besides, it'll do you some good to get out and have some fun."

Casey thought it over as she chewed another bite of pizza, "Well...I guess I could go."

"You guess you could go?" Derek raised an eyebrow, "I'm getting you into one of the best parties you'll ever go to and all you can say is that you guess you can go?"

Casey smiled, "Thank you for inviting me, Derek. I do appreciate it. But...why are you being so nice?"

"I told you we'd be best buds once we got to college," Derek grinned. When Casey huffed and rolled her eyes, he said, "Because you and I both know Norah and my Dad would kill me if they knew I let you just waift away in your dorm with your books."

"True," Casey nodded, "So Friday night?"

"Friday night. I'll pick you up."

"It's a..."

"Say date and I'm changing my mind, walking out of here, and leaving you both with the check and without a ride back," Derek warned.

Casey blinked innocently, "Date? No one was saying anything about dates but you, Derek. I was just going to say, 'it's a plan.'"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four **

Friday came sooner than expected, and Casey found herself standing in front of her closet, scanning over the clothes she had organized by occasion and color. A burgundy, tight dress cut just above the knee caught her attention. She wanted more than anything to have a good time at the party, and decided that this dress would be just perfect. After slipping into it, she applied her makeup and added some curl to her hair. Casey gave herself one final look-over in the full-length mirror on the back of her closet door. She nodded once in approval. She gave her reflection a second look, and was glad she had used some extra concealer to cover the dark bags under her eyes. Derek was right, she had lost weight, and the dress seemed a bit looser on her than she had expected it too. She knew it wasn't healthy, the lifestyle she had adopted since coming to university; but she was determined to change all of that that night. She was going to have a great time, and for the first time since coming to university, she wasn't going to worry herself about schoolwork and classes.

A knock at her door pulled her from her thoughts, and instantly a flurry of butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She couldn't explain where the sudden nerves had come from, but she was anxious. She took a deep breath right before opening the door. Derek, as expected, was standing there with his elbow propped up on the wall. Casey smiled softly, feeling suddenly embarrassed and exposed as his eyes scanned over her. He raised a surprised eyebrow. He had to admit, she looked good. Still too skinny, but there was something about her. Derek tried to shake the thought from his mind. After all, this was Casey. He had seen her in that dress before, anyway. She had worn it on dates with Max. Derek tried, once again, to shake that thought from his mind.

"Ready to go?" She asked, sticking a clutch under her arm.

"Uh...yeah," Derek nodded, and Casey ducked under his arm, out the door, and locked it behind her, "I have decided that this night is going to be wonderful, Derek," Casey explained, determinedly, "I need to focus on school, but I can't let it consume me like I did. I need to still get out and have fun, and I am determined to do that tonight. This will be a um...new beginning for me."

"Good for you," Derek dug his keys from the pocket of his leather jacket, "Brian and Crystal are going to meet us there. Now, Michael's parties are awesome, but they can be a bit...heavy?" Derek ran his hand through his hair as they headed to the parking lot, "I mean, you'll pretty much be with me the whole time, so don't worry. There's lots of awesome people that go to Michael's parties but there are also some creeps there too. Some guys just go there to pick up girls."

"Isn't that what you do?" Casey asked, wondering where Derek was going with this.

"Well, yeah but...it's just different. Okay?" Derek unlocked the car and they both slid inside, "Just...be careful."

Casey let a small smile cross her face. Derek cleared his throat and turned the car on. The drove the rest of the way in silence. She wondered what he had meant by what he had said, and why did he care anyway? This was Derek, after all. He had lived for her demise when they were back home, so what was different now? Casey tried to push the thought from her mind as she twisted a curl around her index finger. Once at the apartment complex, Derek punched in the keycode and drove through the gates. As they headed up the steps to the apartment, Casey could feel the butterflies again. She hoped everything would go well tonight, that she wouldn't make any klutzy mistakes or be an embarrassment to herself and Derek. Derek didn't even ring the doorbell, instead, he just opened the door and they headed inside. Music was pumping through the speakers in the living area, and the whole apartment was crowded with college students. Derek looked around and pulled Casey over to Brian and Crystal.

"Brian, you know Casey," Derek nudged her slightly with his shoulder, "Crystal, this is Casey."

"Nice to meet you," Crystal raised a red plastic cup in Casey's direction.

"You too," Casey replied, sheepishly to the girl hanging off of Brian's arm. She suddenly felt like a third wheel and began to question if she had made a mistake in agreeing to come. Just as those thoughts started to itch at her mind, Derek asked her if she wanted something to drink.

"There's beer, probably heavier stuff too though that's not really your thing, huh; there's also sodas if you want one."

"Um..." Casey thought about asking for a soda, but changed her mind; again, determined to allow herself to have a good time, "I'll take a beer."

Derek raised an eyebrow, "Okay then. The kitchen's this way."

She followed him through the sea of people, dancing and talking together. It was crazy, but she had to admit that it was fun. Though she was glad Derek was there with her. Casey knew she would be too overwhelmed and lost without him there to help her. In the kitchen, Derek dug around in the fridge until he held up an Alaskan, "This is good stuff," he said, "You'll like it."

He popped it open for her, and Casey took a sip. She had had beer only a few times before, and he was right - she did like it.

"Derek?"

Casey and Derek looked up to see Brynn standing in the doorway. She was weight a tight, short blue dress that was very low-cut. Derek's eyes wandered, "Hey, Brynn," he smirked, "Didn't know you were coming tonight."

"Of course I would be here. I wouldn't miss it for the world," she gushed, sliding past Casey so that she was now standing in between them, "You didn't text me back last night, Derek."

"Uh...I was...um...busy," Derek ran a hand through his hair, and Casey felt extremely out of place. Brynn reminded her of Kendra, and it made her skin crawl. She wished she could excuse herself, but where would she go? The only other people she knew there were Brian and Crystal. She busied herself by drinking her beer and eyeing the tile of the kitchen floor.

"Busy," Brynn scoffed, "Too busy for me?" She pouted, and Derek shrugged. He wished she would just go away. Casey was uncomfortable, and this was not how he had wanted this to go down. This was supposed to be a night for her to have some fun and relax; not feel uncomfortable because of Brynn. And truth was, Brynn was making him uncomfortable too. He had been having a decent time with Casey, and he was almost angry with Brynn for interrupting that.

"I"m just going to go...uh...out there," Casey pointed to the living room. Derek grimaced.

"No...it's fine. Stay."

"It's okay, really," she tried to sound confident as she slid past Brynn, "I'll be fine, Derek. Stop playing big brother, okay?"

Derek winced, and wondered if maybe he should just let her go. She was a big girl. She could handle herself, right? Before he could say anything else, Brynn had her arms wrapped around his neck and was pressing her lips to his neck. When he glanced to the doorway, Casey was already gone.

"Brynn..." he attempted to push her off of him, wanting to go find Casey, "I am here with Casey, alright?"

"You with Casey now?" Brynn shoved him, "Is that what this is?"

"No! No, of course not, Brynn! You know that. I am not with Casey. I brought her to this party though and it'd be pretty shitty of me to just leave her."

"She's a big girl, Derek."

"I know," Derek growled, wishing he could get Casey out of his head for just a few minutes. He knew what Brynn was capable of making him feel, of making him do, and he didn't exactly want to object. But he was here with Casey, and he didn't want to leave her for Brynn. Derek shook his head. Was he really choosing Casey over sneaking off to the bedroom with Brynn? He sighed, trying to think of an excuse to get away from her just for a minute.

"Well you sure aren't acting like it," Brynn pouted, "I thought you liked having a good time, Derek."

"I do. But..."

"But nothing. I need to go find Casey."

"Why do you care so much about her, anyway?" Brynn asked.

Derek pushed past her, ignoring her question, and headed off to find Casey.


End file.
